What can I do to put more umph in my introduction for my personal statement? Because right now it's like blah!
Topic: Seeking knowledge and commitment to service are integral parts of the Spelman experience. Discuss and illustrate ways you have shown your commitment in these areas.
Did you know that only 35% of the students who apply to Spelman are actually admitted (collegeboard.com)? That is a little over three out of every ten people. I believe I am posibbly one of those three who could be accepted. Throughout my life I have done everything to ensure my admission into a notable college. it is essential to me because caollege will allow me to grasp what I nees to succees. I have found the knowledge that is necessary for attaining it. However knowledge is not enough. I have been committed to it and have gone above and beyond to outshine my competition despite the seemingly endless worry and pressure.
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Please ignore the typos lol
ReplyDeleteWell, if this prompt was given by the college itself then I honestly don't think citing the percentage of students who are accepted will make for a very good attention grabber. Those in charge of reading these college admission essays should already know the likelihood of students being accepted into their own college. Maybe you could start by bringing up an experience, that occurred during high school, that shows your dedication and commitment. Then you could casually bring up the whole probability of being accepted and finally talk about how you fit into this scheme. You need to be sure to keep the intended audience in mind. Hope this helps.
ReplyDeleteI also think the idea of defining the 3 out of 10 -- what successful students do -- is a good idea. Situate yourself in the 35%.
ReplyDeleteok thanks :)
ReplyDeleteI really like how you started, its really catchy and draws the reader in but the college knows its own stastics so its risky but your wording sounds great.
ReplyDelete