Keep Holding On

Hope. It is defined in the dictionary as the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. Hoping is believing, desiring, trusting. To wish for something with the expectation that it will be fulfilled.

This I believe.

I believe in hope. I believe in hoping with every fiber of your being. I believe that with a little hope you can make anything happen.

All my life, I’ve lived with hope. In my early years, I hoped to get the things I wanted. In school, I hoped to get good grades. Like all girls, I hoped the boy I loved would love me in return. When my grandmother had a stroke, I hoped that she would recover. When I give out second chances, I hope that they will change. When I trust someone, I hope that they will always be honest.

A friend of mine once contemplated suicide. In truth, more than once. He’d talk to me for long periods of time about how he felt depressed. That he felt alone in the world. Misunderstood. Unloved. He felt as though he didn’t belong. He’d say to me, “Zel, I’m just going to kill myself. Why go on? There’s no reason for me to be here on this Earth. I’m just taking up space. I serve no purpose and no one cares.” I’d sit at my computer for hours on AIM, trying to reason with him, trying to talk sense into him. I always managed to get him to wait longer. To see what the next day would bring. One night he told me that the next day would be his last. That there was no hope. And at that moment, I typed faster than I ever have before. What I wrote was along these lines, “There is always hope. No matter what happens, no matter if the world walks out on you, never lose hope. When you’re alone as you say you are, hope is all you have. And I know that deep down inside, you hope that I will keep you from this early death. I know you hope that others will care about you. I know you hope to find the will to go on.” There was no reply for some time. After about 20 minutes I received a message read, “How are you so hopeful in this world that just dashes all your hopes?” I replied simply, “Because I believe that hope will get me through and that everything is capable of change.”

Since then he has not been inclined to suicidal thoughts as before. He has found a place where he belongs. He is alone no longer. I like to believe that I saved his life by instilling in him the idea of hope being our saving grace in this world that does not always meet our expectations.

Hope is a flickering candle in the darkness of the night. Without it we are lost. Wandering aimlessly and alone. Hope helps us to hold on to that which we are not prepared to let go. Hope helps us wait to see what the next day will bring. We never know when change will come around. So why give up? Why not hope that it will change? I believe that hope in and of itself brings around change. This state of hoping is a form of positive thinking and in my experience it attracts that which we want most.

Hope is that lifesaver that floats by you when you feel as if you’re drowning in the sea. You hold onto it because you want to live. You hold on because you know that someday a ship will come by and take you back home.

This I believe.